...I am about to talk about The Dalai Lama, Patti Smith, allegorical horses, and "entitlement" all of the sudden.



So anyways. hmmm

Let's immediately change gears here.

(I'm almost afraid of this post already. I think I'm about to talk too much.)

I'll just start with why I LOVE THIS SONG so much.

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I know...I know...lyrically it falls into the category of the same kind of cut-and-paste dada doo-doo that late 70s punk artists were thrashing out to amaze and confound us adoring fans.

I really loved this song though. I still love it. It still makes me shut off the mundane and reactionary processes of my daily life just for a moment....just when I need to.

It's one of those songs that I listen to when I need to cloister myself and lock myself into my room to listen to over and over again when I need to erase everything in my head and start over.

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My life is so real today. Sometimes I think it's more real than I can handle.

I have so many angels in my life right now that are taking care of me.

There is a trailer trash, poor white Aries hillbilly mother fucker lurking...always lurking...in me...that wants to fuck it all up.

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Here's the deal.

I spent the morning schleping around, picking up merchandise from vendors here in Atlanta. I felt very comfortable doing that. I liked it. Loading and unloading boxes and stuff.

Stacking boxes neatly in a truck with the labels out so they could be easily processed. Today, I felt more comfortable and strangely more satisfied doing this than I do running a company.

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Then we had a meeting with a PR firm at 2 today. "A meeting with a PR firm" (even typing those words freaks me out)

I have to be honest. I mean...I REALLY have to be honest. I don't have a great track record of embracing success. But that was my past. I had a knack for sabatoging (I'm totally sure that's spelled wrong) myself for 25 years.

You know what though? I aint that person anymore.

Granted....I'm a late bloomer and a slow learner. I made the same mistakes over and over again. It took me a while to learn from them. Did someone say that is the definition of insanity? (well fuck you) Aaaanyways....

Oddly enough, it took a bizarre spiritual dance to wake me up. I put my Christian faith on pause for a few years and emmersed myself in Dharma. I started reading and studying Buddhist teachings. I started feeling better.

Then it all started making sense to me. It filled in the blanks that I had spiritually. I started making wiser decisions. I became more kind to everyone else and gradually by proxy became kinder to myself.

I became a Bapt-Buddhist. Hey...it can happen. I'm glad it happened to me. It most likely saved my life.

It's why I am so excited for a chance to be in the audience of the Dalai Lama this October.

I'm a Theravada Buddhist and a born again Christian. I see no conflicts with this because there are none.

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I wanted to be here. I want to be here. I dreamt about being here. I'm here. I know for possibly the first time in my life that I am empowered to get "there" from my here.

I deserve to be here. I think today I may have just finally shut up the voice in my head that kept whispering "under all the smoke and mirrors, you are still just a poor white trash hillbilly faggot and you are flying by the seat of your pants and you are going to crash and burn"

Goodbye, stupid voice.

Hello, Miss PR Firm...now lets fucking rock Atlanta and beyond.

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That's why I love Rock and Roll.

My brain filled up too much today. I purged with Patti Smith tonight. Long live Rock and Roll.





T

YES! Marc just told me that they have released the entire Elvis Costello catalog on Rhapsody today. I think he is one of the best all around performers and easily one of the top five lyricists in Rock. We got to see him twice last year. The first was an almost 5 hour show at Tabernacle...AMAZING night. I was in heaven.



I added Green Shirt from the album Armed Forces in the comment section. I love how he flows the language in this song.



T

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"I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid... to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful....

..Like a rainbow"

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We kicked off Pride Weekend tonight in Atlanta with the True Colors concert at Chastian Park. The line-up...The Dresden Dolls, Debra Harry, Erasure, Margaret Cho, and Cyndi Lauper. Marc, Rob, and I arrived 45 minutes late into the show, but it soon became evident to us that this night was not only about the music, but also about a message.
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(I have to give kudos to Rob here...he was most likely the only straight guy at this huge outdoor gay and lesbian event tonight...and that realization actually didn't even occur to me until I started writing this. As usual, it didn't make a bit of difference to Rob. Rob is a true friend and kind of a renaissance guy. He was even grooving to the 90s gay anthems from Erasure that Marc and I went nuts over tonight.)
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Here's my one and only bitch about tonight. Debra Harry...WHAT WAS SHE THINKING???? It pains me to even write this...I LOVE Debra Harry, right? BUT....
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A) She didn't do one single Blondie song.
B) She came on stage in a horrible "Fat Elvis" white jumpsuit and gold lame flats. She looked like a retiree from Long Island shopping for a condo in Boca Raton.
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I was embarrassed for her and pissed off at her all at the same time. I guess I was being selfish...I wanted to see the rockin'-in-your-face-high-energy-sex-kitten Debra Harry, and I felt totally cheated out of something I have been looking forward to for weeks...a night in the presence of the Debra Harry of Blondie. Things change. I have to come to grips with the fact that my heros and icons change as well. Oh well. Well well well.
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We missed the Dresden Dolls set...so I can't report on that.
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Erasure got the crowd in it's feet as I expected. I mean really...fill a huge outdoor ampitheatre with 6000 gay guys, add in Erasure's gay house anthems, and stir...well of course you will have a party. They were a given...they were fun.
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Believe it or not, I thought Cyndi Lauper totally stole the whole night though. I've always been sort of a pedestrian fan of hers, but have never actually taken her very seriously. She did a couple of things tonight that changed my opinion of her.
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First...she walked on stage and talked extensively about PFLAG...an organization that is near and dear to my heart. (I'll talk about that more at the end) Then she gave a heartfelt plea for everyone to support the Matthew Shepard Foundation and the Human Rights Campaign. I was impressed..
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THEN...as the next-to-last-song during her set, her band did a phenominal HARD ROCKING, BALL BUSTING, GUITAR DRIVEN AND SCREAMING VOCAL reworking of her song "Money Changes Everything". I could not believe my eyes and ears. I was suprised and blown away by how she pulled a rabbit out the hat and transformed this innocuous and cutsie song of hers into a TOTAL JAM!!! That was the highlight of the night for me.
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Now I'm too sleepy to talk about PFLAG. It's probably one of the most important gay and lesbian programs today. I'll write about it tomorrow, when I can give them a little more air time.
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Here is a crappy blurry picture of Erasure that I took with my cell phone tonight.
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Happy Pride, everybody!
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T

After work I went to get my long over-due haircut. For this, I venture back into Midtown...my old stompin' grounds...the gay ghetto of Atlanta. I don't trust anybody outside the gay ghetto to go anywhere near my hair with shears and scissors. I don't have to worry about getting a good haircut in Midtown. I just assume that I will.

So anyways...I didn't get my usual guy today because he is off on Wednesdays. I sat down in the chair of A CASE BOOK STUDY OF THE MOST STEREOTYPICAL BITTER FUCKING QUEEN EVER.

I haven't had to actually tell someone how to cut my hair in years. I don't know the terminology. The only thing I know is not to call them "hairdressers" anymore. (They bristle at that.)

So anyways...I'm sitting there in the chair. I say...I dunno...just give me a faded 2 on the sides and the back..natural neck...chopped top...and a little gay flip in the front. (That's the only way I know how to describe my haircut because I hear my usual guy say those things).

Then....I just said....jokingly, innocently...."Just make me look cute for Pride weekend"

"Weeeeeeell.... Looooordy Looooordy....eeeeeverybody wawnts ta look cuuuuuuuuute for Pride, don't they now?" he retorts. "I'm goin' to muh mama's place in South Carolina this weekeyund to git away from all the cuuuuute people." Then he just sorta made the southern nasal "hmmmph" sound.

I shit you not. That's exactly what he said/did. For a second, I thought I might be on Candid Camera. I scanned the room for Allen Funt or Allen Funt, Jr. No Funts....no cameras...this guy was for real. I don't know what kind of medication this guy is supposed to be on, but I'll bet that it's hard to pronounce.

So I'm sitting there, right? This bitter queen with obvious social issues is wielding scissors and razors in the general vicinity of my head and face.

I made him talk more. I engaged him in my silliness. I got cuter and cuter. In return, he got cuter and cuter. I made him laugh eventually. The result...I didn't get stabbed in the neck with a pair of scissors, we had fun.... and I got a GREAT haircut.

Cuteness rocks. You don't have to be good looking to be cute.

You just have to believe that you are.........you know.........cute.



T

We've hooked up with Lucky Magazine and we are one of the "Lucky Breaks" for their readers in the July issue. This means that we got a feature in the magazine in exchange for granting their readers a 20% discount off of everything on our website for the month of July. Pretty cool. The editors at Lucky have been really supportive of Marc and me and Heliotrope. I'm really grateful for their attention to us as a young company.

Anyways...I just wanted to share the same deal with you guys. I almost didn't post this because in my mind, it borders on spam, but I do want yall to check out our website. Marc and I have been working really hard on it for months and I think that it's finally at a point that we are kinda proud of it. Let me know what you think.

If you happen to see something that you like, you can use the coupon code JULYLUCKY07 when you check out and you will get 20% off everything on our site from now through July 31st.

http://store.heliotropehome.com/

Love, T