...I am about to talk about The Dalai Lama, Patti Smith, allegorical horses, and "entitlement" all of the sudden.

So anyways. hmmm
Let's immediately change gears here.
(I'm almost afraid of this post already. I think I'm about to talk too much.)
I'll just start with why I LOVE THIS SONG so much.
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I know...I know...lyrically it falls into the category of the same kind of cut-and-paste dada doo-doo that late 70s punk artists were thrashing out to amaze and confound us adoring fans.
I really loved this song though. I still love it. It still makes me shut off the mundane and reactionary processes of my daily life just for a moment....just when I need to.
It's one of those songs that I listen to when I need to cloister myself and lock myself into my room to listen to over and over again when I need to erase everything in my head and start over.
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My life is so real today. Sometimes I think it's more real than I can handle.
I have so many angels in my life right now that are taking care of me.
There is a trailer trash, poor white Aries hillbilly mother fucker lurking...always lurking...in me...that wants to fuck it all up.
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Here's the deal.
I spent the morning schleping around, picking up merchandise from vendors here in Atlanta. I felt very comfortable doing that. I liked it. Loading and unloading boxes and stuff.
Stacking boxes neatly in a truck with the labels out so they could be easily processed. Today, I felt more comfortable and strangely more satisfied doing this than I do running a company.
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Then we had a meeting with a PR firm at 2 today. "A meeting with a PR firm" (even typing those words freaks me out)
I have to be honest. I mean...I REALLY have to be honest. I don't have a great track record of embracing success. But that was my past. I had a knack for sabatoging (I'm totally sure that's spelled wrong) myself for 25 years.
You know what though? I aint that person anymore.
Granted....I'm a late bloomer and a slow learner. I made the same mistakes over and over again. It took me a while to learn from them. Did someone say that is the definition of insanity? (well fuck you)

Aaaanyways....
Oddly enough, it took a bizarre spiritual dance to wake me up. I put my Christian faith on pause for a few years and emmersed myself in Dharma. I started reading and studying Buddhist teachings. I started feeling better.
Then it all started making sense to me. It filled in the blanks that I had spiritually. I started making wiser decisions. I became more kind to everyone else and gradually by proxy became kinder to myself.
I became a Bapt-Buddhist. Hey...it can happen. I'm glad it happened to me. It most likely saved my life.
It's why I am so excited for a chance to be in the audience of the Dalai Lama this October.
I'm a Theravada Buddhist and a born again Christian. I see no conflicts with this because there are none.
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I wanted to be here. I want to be here. I dreamt about being here. I'm here. I know for possibly the first time in my life that I am empowered to get "there" from my here.
I deserve to be here. I think today I may have just finally shut up the voice in my head that kept whispering "under all the smoke and mirrors, you are still just a poor white trash hillbilly faggot and you are flying by the seat of your pants and you are going to crash and burn"
Goodbye, stupid voice.
Hello, Miss PR Firm...now lets fucking rock Atlanta and beyond.
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That's why I love Rock and Roll.
My brain filled up too much today. I purged with Patti Smith tonight. Long live Rock and Roll.

T