Are yall watching the Grammys...I mean the Mary J Blige Show?



Any show that opens with the reunited Police singing "Roxanne" gets my attention, so let's watch.

My impressions so far...

The old timers are holding up just fine and lookin' good! ...Sting looked handsome as ever and Joan Baez...I mean DAMN...Joan Baez looked like a stone HOTTIE when she introduced The Dixie Chicks. She was a wearing a hot little black shift dress. She's gotta be almost 60, right...and rockin' that HOT body in a SLEEVELESS dress. Dayum! (Sorry... I had a momentary and fleeting heterosexual experience there.)

9:11 Dixie Chicks just won Song of the Year. I'm not a big fan of their music, but I dig the fact that they won. They have proven that controversial publicity is better than no publicity at all, and besides that, the wacky little one looks like she would be a fun chick to party with.

9:20 Gnarls Barkley is singing "Crazy" right now. Who the fuck is his stylist? He looks like Idi Amin in a Delta Airline pilot's uniform. He just looked ridiculous and I could barely watch, even though I love the song. What was he thinking????



9:25 Ludacris just won Best Rap Album! Yeah Yeah Yeah. I was really hoping for this one for him. My post yesterday put him over the top I'm sure. He gave shouts out to the ATL, Ryan Cameron, and V103. The Dog House gives a crunk 4 stars to this award. (I'm not happy with his new short haircut though...it's just not him...too conservative Black Urban Professional looking) The haircut gets a .

9:35 Shhh...Mary's singing "Be Without You" now. God, she is so fucking hot...like that "ghetto diva...dangerous, sweet, always in control, stylish, I'll fuck your brains out, do your taxes, accessorize ya, slap the fool out of you, and then whip up the best meal you ever ate in your life" kind of hot. I am fascinated with her. I liked her with blonde hair better, but she still looks good.

9:48 Reba Mackentire is on and it looks like they're gonna do country music stuff for the next few minutes. I'm gonna go poop and play with the dogs while this stuff is on.

10:01 Carrie Underwood just won the Best New Artist award. Wha??? Really??? She's a little hottie; granted, but let's be real...only talented in an "American Idol" kind of way...and she was up against genuine artists like James Blunt and Corinne Bailey Rae fer cryin' out loud.

10:13 Oh MY GOD...Christina Agulara just did a tribute to James Brown and TORE UP "It's a Man's World"....AWESOME. I like how the Grammys handled this one...no big intro and no big hype...they just let her go out onstage and throw DOWN. Awesome awesome moment.

10:31 They are starting their official tribute to James Brown. This is wierd...I'm almost in tears already and my heart is racing. His son came on stage and drapped his cape on the microphone. Now I'm really fuckin' in tears. An era ended with the passing of The Mighty Mighty JB, yall. Music will go on, but will never be quite the same.

10:38 Ludacris, Mary J Blige, and Earth Wind and Fire gettin' ready to throw down together? Shut the fuck up! Later yall.

10:42 Ok, now that was hot. Mary J Blige...I mean shit...sexy and tough...the combination of those ghetto ass tattoos and those couture dresses...and that attitude....I am in LOVE...and having another one of those inexplicable but fleeting heterosexual moments. She reminds me of my girl Nettie.

10:45 James Blunt is singing "Beautiful" right now. You have to be in a coma not to love this song, even after the 100,000th time you hear it. Very nice.

10:56 Justin Timberlake and some thro'd off incredibly hot and sexy brown chick are singing a song. Beautiful sexy young things. Damn them...DAMN them!

11:00 The Record of the Year just went to The Dixie Chicks...I'm cool with that. I wanted Corinne to blow it away as a brand new artist, but that's cool. That crazy necklace the little chubby girl is wearing is fascinating me.

11:08 The Chili's are in the house. Now that's what I am talking about. This is a very slendid and subdued performance of "Hey"...I love this. What is up with these guys??? They never age! Anthony is as cute as he ever was. Damn him!

11:14 Al Gore and Queen Latifah introducing the Best Rock Album? I think I'll just puke right now.

11:16 The Chili's won the Best Rock Album! Hell YES! But again I ask...how do they still look so hot??? I'd hit each and every one of them...even with Dave Navarro (sic) gone...Damn Them! DAMN THEM! By the way...Dave Navarro (sic)...if you are listening....Marc is at work from 9 to 6 weekdays...hit me up...I'm just sayin'.

11:25 Album of the Year...DIXIE CHICKS...ok, that's hot...I love that they got it. I want that little chick's necklace. She's a little hellcat...you can just tell. I want to party with her, get all crunk, and wear her necklace. What the hell is her name??? I should know that before I ask her for that crazy awesome necklace.

div style='font:bold 11px verdana;'>Mary J. Blige - Be Without You (Kendu Mix)

Music Code provided by Song2Play.Com

Hmm…what song to pick for this Saturday?
With Valentine’s Day approaching, it had to be something sweet or sexy, right? I couldn’t decide, so I turned to my crack team of musical experts…Gracie Mae and Rexall Tucker Johnston.



They did after all, tour for a brief stint with the group The Happy Bavarian Johnston Family Singers (I’m sure you’ve heard of them…they were especially big in Slovakia).



Anyways, I ran some of my choices by them…”Love to Love You Baby” by Donna Summer, “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye, “Ecstasy” by Barry White, and even some more esoteric ones like “Je T'aime Moi Non Plus” by Serge Gainesbourg and Jane Birkin.

I was met with rounds of “cliché!, cliché!, cliché!” when I mentioned them to Gracie and Rex. “And that fourth one is too fuckin’ French and fancy” exclaimed Rex.

Then, exasperated…I asked them for their own suggestions. They agreed that the tune should not only homage Valentine’s Day, but should also tie in with the recent Grammy nominations.

Gracie suggested Mary J Blige’s “Be Without You”. I thought that was a great idea. I love that song. Rex said “Aww, hell no. All them Blogstream bitches is gonna post that song! My boy Ludacris from the ATL got nominated too. You bettah reco-nize! Play some old skool crunk ass Ludacris, motha fucka! Play some shit about fuckin’, know what I’m sayin’? That’s my JAM, fo’ real!”

(I don’t know where Rex picked up the slang…maybe it’s the neighborhood.)

This tune does still get a crowd on the floor here in the Dirty Dirty…up in the ATL. Yall enjoy….and oh, while you're at it…get all crunk and shit.

Tho'd off... fo' real yall. T

Post your answer in the comment section!

Addendum: Friday 11:30 am...

Bella from Bella's Got a Brand New Blog and the queen of Saturday Night Dance Fever got the answer correct.

You weigh 6 of the balls...three on each side...and set two aside.

1) If the sides weigh the same, you know one of the two remaining is the light one.

2) If one side is lighter, you weigh two of those. If they weigh the same, you know the one remaining is the light one.

Good job, Bella!

Ok, guys, I'll just say "I'm sorry" right now in advance for this bizarre Saturday Dance Fever post..but here goes...

So it's 1979...nineteen seventy nine. Say it with me if you are old enough...nine...teen...seven...ty...nine.

Don't judge me for what I did 27 years ago, and don't hate me because I was beautiful, but it seems that the year I was 19, I apparently had sex with every breathing life form in the southeastern US.

My cousin's ex-wife
My friend's husband
My drug dealer so I could get freebies from him (My next door neighbor was a T and cocaine dealer and besides that, he was a hottie.)
My so called "boyfriend"
My so called boyfriend's trick-on-the-side, just so I could say I had sex with my so called boyfriend's trick-on-the-side to get even with him.
Numerous others in the back seat of my Toyota.

The list goes on and on. It was 1979, fercryinoutloud. Really good weed was $35 an ounce and shrooms were right around the corner at the Angus farm.

This song just makes me think of that stuff. I mean..I still love the song...but it takes me back to that freaky year.

Funny how a simple little tune from the B-52s can dredge up stuff like that. Guess ya had to be there...back in 1979. Biggie T is so respectable and boring now. (Sigh)

Addendum: Saturday, 1:45 PM...

David and Amy Sedaris have got to be the most brilliant and funniest siblings in history.

I re-read David's book of essays "Me Talk Pretty One Day" on the plane this week and was again in awe and laughing out loud the whole time.

It is a real and rare literary occasion when a humourist can reach "funny" and "pathos" at the same time, and can make you pause, reflect, and empathize with the human condition.

David wrote "The Santaland Diaries"...possibly the funniest piece of work I have ever read. The reading of it he did for NPR is available at Barnes and Noble. Hearing him read it is priceless....and will have you bent over laughing and crying.

David Sedaris, Mark Twain, Walt Whitman, James Thurber, and Kurt Vonnegut...these are the crazy men that still inspire me to attempt to actually write one day.

That's what a good southern humourist can do with brutal honesty. A slightly askance view of things...humour wrought from pain. When I read good contemporary southern writers like David Sedaris, Amy Sedaris, or Hollis Gillespie, I don't always know when to laugh and when to cry. Their writing and performances are magic, spell-binding, shocking, all all too real, and ultimately some of the most brilliant humour today.

So anyway...Amy Sedaris's new book is climbing the charts like crazy. David Sedaris's books always strike a chord and hit the best seller lists. So...here's some videos with these insane southerners.

The first one is Amy Sedaris...just being her original and unique self on a talk show and eventually doing her infamous "Piglet" character. (Oh shit...I grew up with girls like that)

The second one is David Sedaris doing a reading on Letterman that is in the true Sedaris style. I think he is brilliant, original, and funny in such a human and timeless way.

They both may be a bit long for a blog attention span, but check them out for a few laughs. Enjoy.



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