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The Dog House


 What's Your Honeypot?
 



Let me first preface this by making it clear that I never judge anyone by appearance, am sensitive, by proxy, to what other humans beings struggle with, and mean no harm by shit that spews un-filtered from my feeble brain. That being said… well “that being said” hopefully shelters me from the karmic consequences of the telling of this tale of an experience in my adolescent prehistorica.

Background
Jacqui’s mom was rich. Filthy rich. Jacqui’s mom was filthy rich, unmarried and traveled to Europe often with male friends of Jacqui’s mom. These extended trips left ample lots of time for adolescent friends of Jacqui’s to commandeer Jacqui’s house and turn it into, for weeks at a time…a Disneyland of teenage debauchery, drugs, sex, and angst.

During the day, a “nanny”…fully capable of handling the ordinary sun-lit teen, was present. The nanny would exit at sundown. That’s when the real show for the daughter of Jacqui’s mom and the friends of the daughter of Jacqui’s mom began.

We would converge on Jacqui’s house at sundown…waiting at the bottom of the hill for the exit stage left of the nanny. The nanny, being otherwise of sound mind and sharp eye, was known to be fully aware of any infringements on her territory during her term as guardian, with the exception of activities carried on in….

A. The Garage
B. The Library at the Bottom of the Stairs Adjacent To The Den (which she thought was haunted by Jacqui’s mom’s deceased husband, and would never set foot in there)
C. The Secret Room Beyond The Hole In The Ceiling of The Bedroom Closet

Story
Jacqui, Shawn, Wally, Chris, Joi, Mark, Jennifer, and I were embracing the departure of the nanny one summer night. 50% of us were in our 16th year of life, 50% of us were 15 years old. We had culled our resources and had acquired an ounce of Columbian. The going rate for an ounce of good shit at that time was $35. Home-grown or Mexican was going for $20 an ounce. The economics of this may or may not give you a time frame reference.

Anyway….we always observed the rule of smoking weed in the de-militarized zones described above. We decided to hit some bowls in the safe space of the room above the hole in the closet. Seven of us were adept and experienced at this practice. A practice that involved placing a chair in the closet, grasping the edges of the hole, and pushing ourselves up into the hidden room. Easy enough for skinny-ass kids…no big deal.

Jennifer was in our company this go-round though. We never actually thought about her weight and girth before. Slinking up through the hole presented a problem for her. Even when we deducted that a mere “push” was all it was going to take, we grossly miscalculated.

Jacqui, Chris, Shawn, and I went through the hole first. We were perched on the rafters, bowl in hand, ready to hit some fat sweet bud. With the aid of the other three below, Jennifer was hoisted up into the hole, only to get stuck post-titty/pre-stomach.

An exhaustive effort on the part of Wally, Mark, and Joi only resulted in this poor girl becoming wedged securely in the hole above the closet in Jacquis’s rich mom’s closet.

The four of us were eye to eye with the head and breast portion of Jennifer and could not say a word. The moment lasted an eternity. The only salvation was that her body blackened any light that was coming from the room below and hid any evidence of horror that may have been on our pubescent faces. The three below the hind quarters and legs of Jennifer and were audibly but not visibly agasp, trembling with laughter and weed deprivation.

Any efforts to pull her upwards yielded nothing. The episode was relieved only through an eventual concession on our part to tuck her fully developed breasts, inch by inch….back through the hole and into the light of the closet below.

Finis
We all have our Honeypot. We all know what it is and what it takes to get it. We know this innately. We will get it all in good time. Not at the same time that the posse gets it necessarily. Some of us are late bloomers and take a while. Some of us have to approach it at different angles and at a different pace. If you can see your Honeypot, you will get it when the time is right for it.. We are all the fat kid really.

Posted by Biggie T at 9:06 PM - 23 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Warning : Adult Content!...Let's Sexy English....Not For The Easily Offended
 

I don't know the story behind this kooky/pervy video. If appearances are true, it's a Japanese instructional video that teaches English phrases for picking up gaijin hotties. It could also be an excuse to drool over chicks clad in teacher and schoolgirl uniforms who say dirty words in lo-res.

 http://www.fazed.org/video/?id=270&go

Fairly adult content.  It had me rolling on the floor. If you aren't easily offended, you gotta see this!

 

Posted by Biggie T at 3:26 PM - 51 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 I Mean Really....
 



...let it go.

it's the
weekend

We can make dents Monday.

I'm giving myself permission
to
be all
stupid
and
loving
and
serving
and
self-serving
today
and tomorrow.

******Kate Bush "Don't Push Your Foot On The Heartbrake"
Posted by Biggie T at 3:36 AM - 8 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Rex Needs Some Lovin
 



When a bad storm comes through, Rex...otherwise the bad boy of the Doghouse...gets very scared and nervous. A really bad storm is overhead. He is shaking like a leaf.

Gracie, on the other hand, loves storms...she always wants to go and play in them.

Usually independant and fiesty, Rex needs extra attention. More of a free range type usually, Rex is in my lap and getting a head rub. It's the only thing that calms him down during storms.

****Chopin "Nocturne No. 2 in E Flat Major"

Posted by Biggie T at 11:51 PM - 16 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 A One Night Stand....But Without The Great Sex (FFF)
 



1) I would be extremely happy if I was always dressed in jeans, a tee shirt, and sandals.

2) I'm in the 41st grade.

3) If I can't decide what CD I want to hear, I slap in "Verve Remixed V1". I never get tired of it. I may have played that CD over a million times, I'm almost sure of it. OK, that's a lot of times. I may be exaggerating.

4) The person that I most share a brain with (besides my baby) is my friend Shawn. From almost the first minute we met, we could finish each other's sentences, loved each other, and fed off of each other. We were the "slack" for each other. She knew when to be aggressive and when to concede in our relationship and so did I. We cushioned each other against the blows of adolescence and adulthood. We were and are, the yin to each other's yang. If either one of us were not...well, you know...gay as shit, we would be married to each other now and babysitting a butt load of grandkids, I suspect. =)

5) I am wearing the same clothes as yesterday, because of a business trip that was supposed to be a "there-and-back" day trip that went haywire and left me out of town for a night that I was not prepared for. I hate that shit. I feel like I have trolled in from a one night stand, but was cheated out of the great sex.

Happy Friday streamers!

******Nina Simone "Feelin Good"


Posted by Biggie T at 11:03 PM - 5 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: Biggie T
From Atlanta, GA, USA
 
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